So today I just randomly stripped down to my underwear, got a marker, and wrote all over myself.
I wrote words telling that area of my body how they make me feel.
Stomach - Worthless
Thighs - Disgusting
Breasts - Shameful
Right Hip - Unlovable
Left Hip - Unimpressive
Legs - Ugly
And then I got to my scars and fresh cuts and before I had time to even think about it I had written
'Strong' 'Deep' 'Original' 'Lovable' 'Worth caring about'
And it's true. When I cut I feel all of those things. I feel stronger and deeper and so much better.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
2 comments:
I can very much relate hon. I've gotten to the point where I can't even bare looking in the mirror or getting on the scale. My cutting scars just make me feel even more worthless. I hope you're able to come to terms with how wonderful and amazing you are. One of the posts you wrote really inpired me (http://girldisordered.blogspot.com/2010/12/just-way-you-are-lyrics-oh-her-eyes-her.html#links). I think you should take a look at it whenever you are feeling down. Remember, it applies to you too! Stay strong, beautiful girl <3
Self-harm has a funny way of doing that. Why else would we get so addicted to it? But just as Wishbone said take a look at that post. It does apply to you too. Remind yourself of that. Even if you don't believe it. Everyone else does.
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