The Luckiest Girl In The World (urghh)

I wrote this in my journal a couple of days ago but I never posted it on here...

Day Three - 8 Fears

1. FAT. Of course.

2. That my epilepsy will stop responding to my anti-seizure meds and I will start having seizures again.
Edit: WHICH IT DID EXACTLY 5 DAYS AFTER I WROTE THIS!

3.That one day I will have a daughter and she will develop an eating disorder and have to go through all the shit I am going through.

4. Sharks! They scare the shit out of me, that's why I'm so obsessed with them :D They give me an adrenaline rush. It's awesome. Shark week has got to be my favorite holiday everrrrr.

5. Tripping and falling in front of people. That's one of the only things that really truly embarrasses me.
Edit: AND 5 DAYS LATER SOMETHING EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING HAPPENED - I HAD A FUCKING GRAND-MAL SEIZURE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GUY I LIKE!!! WHAT. THE. FUCK. 

6. The constant, threatening possibility that I will get put in another abusive psych ward.

7. Me purging so much or cutting so deep that I collapse and someone in my family finds me.

8. That Unbeautiful from Thoughts of a MONSTER has really, truly, killed herself :'(

Story behind #8-
My friend (who is also friends with many of you) wrote a suicide note. In it she expressed how miserable she was, said that she was going to kill herself, and then explained how and when she would do it (sneak out of the house that night, hide, and overdose on pills) And now no one has heard from her in 10 days...it's scary. I've texted her about a million times asking if she is okay, telling her she's missed and loved, hoping that she's in the hospital getting help instead of actually, well, you know. And nothing. She hasn't texted back once.

I honestly don't know what else to do...

Edit: And, THANK GOD! Thoughts of a MONSTER is okay!!!! :D It makes up for all the other shit that fucking happened.

Conclusion: I need to start knocking on wood after everything I say. Just as a precaution.


Aaaaand some thinspo :) Because I haven't posted any in quite a while...

About to update my Quotes Page in a little as well.